Battles Within!

Keep reading to find out Why! ….


Hi There !

Please listen to the Sound Tracks  for this post  –

from the album Battle Studies by John Mayer

– Assassin.

– Edge of Desire.

– Friends, Lovers or Nothing. 

Copyright infringement laws have prevented me from uploading these songs.

I apologise for disappearing, I seem to be getting good at it.

I have actually missed sharing my thoughts with you. Lots & lots to catch up on….

Its been a roller coaster these last few months. Let’s just say This Year I have Learnt Plenty! & its the first time in forever I’m not in a hurry for October to arrive. I feel like I still have a whole lot to learn & achieve before the 17th. Like there’s still a lot of chiseling, re-moulding to be done by the Ever Faithful Potter.

I’ve learnt that not everything needs a revival. Some things  [Feelings,Friendships,Projects] need to remain dead period! In this regard I’m talking about past Love, there is a reason they failed in the first instance, oh and both parties involved have to admit that there are issues to begin with.  If you cannot resolve “these issues”,  there’s sure as hell no need for a revival. Can I get an Amen?

The One who caused the Raging Storm from the post “Acting”, finally noticed that love doesn’t live here no more. He was shocked at how someone once so smitten could transit to Iron Lady. I like how he showed his uncouth, un-cut Human Nature. He wants to continually have access  but not COMMIT. Shows over your seeming highness! Adieu!

I have been battling with the idea of secrets among besties and how we seem to think that it’s a necessary evil. we believe we are doing our besties a favour by protecting them from the Heart of the Matter. My stand on this issue has always been No one has the Right to make a decision for another adult (even if u think its in their best interest) without their express permission/consent. Especially where the situation directly concerns them.

If it doesn’t concern you. It’s not your business!”

It becomes a little dicey when you are the person being lied to.

And in another scenario you are on the other side shielding the truth from the light of day.

This is where integrity steps in…..

My writer from the post “Entiche Effect” just did his  “mo mi mo e”  normal me would have been in a strange place at the thought of this union! Truth is some things are better left imagined, in most similar situations people don’t measure up to their imagined half. So as always I wish him the very best. Bisous mon ami,  nous reste encore de grands amis. Au revoir My would have been Christian-Olôgùn Smith-Grey.

Lately my heart & head have engaged in an intense battle that makes no sense at all!

My heart picks up on little things that matters to no one else, reading meaning into gestures that seem to come naturally to a certain person. My heart has perfected the art of blurring  the line between “friendship” and “The desire for much more.” .

My head on the other hand isn’t buying into any of these assumptions of the Heart, as hard as the Heart may try to make a compelling case, The rest of Me ( Head, Spirit & Soul) insist on more proof. So rather than wait on the Heart for more proof we pray this daily “Heavenly father, please make Us aware of what is especially important for Us to invest time in right now. Thank you that you care about every aspect of my Life”

Let me not fool you, there are days the Heart’s argument seems like it holds enough water to feed the needy, but that’s  just want it is, feeding the need of the Heart with the things that it desires.

Never mind that this certain person is always there to brighten my fairly constant gloomy days… He’s my go-to-guy for an instant pick-me-up.I’ll confess he’s  found the balance between telling my heart what she wants to hear and my head  the Naked truth. its so upsetting ….

O, That I ( Head, Heart, Spirit, Soul)  may be able to constantly Separate Substance from its Shadow.

Only time will tell, who emerges the Victor!

À bientôt


random; John Mayer happens to be  my almost -birthday -mate.

  • Entiché [1377] (
  • Acting

2 thoughts on “Battles Within!

  1. Tanwa…
    You are like fine wine in a cellar. Aged in casks and matured in darkness.
    I cant wait to see the blessed son of God that Baba will give the privilege of calling you his wife.
    I love you sis….

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